(The jihâd [holy war] of a woman is to get on well with her husband.) [Tabarânî]
A woman used to welcome her husband and try to attain the contentment of him by saying beautiful words. Because of this behavior of hers, our Master the Prophet declared to her husband:
(Tell your wife, she has acquired half the blessings of a martyr!) [Shir’a]
It is easier for women to enter Paradise compared to men. A hadîth-i sharîf purports:
(If a woman performs the five daily prayers, fasts, protects herself from the nâ-mahram [not one of the eighteen men whom the Sharî’at has prescribed as a woman’s close relatives] and obeys her husband, she enters Paradise.) [Ibni Hibbân]
There is no fear for a woman who has attained the consent of her husband. Two hadîth-i sharîfs purport:
(A woman who dies with she having attained the consent of her husband enters Paradise.) [Tirmudhî]
(If a woman shows love for her husband, bears child and does not sleep until she reconciles her husband when she gets angry or when her husband gets angry with her, she is for Paradise.) [Tabarânî]
Jewelry is permissible for women. A woman should not put her husband into a difficult situation for buying jewelry and must not show her jewelry to the nâ-mahram [not one of the eighteen men whom the Sharî’at has prescribed as a woman’s close relatives]! If women observe these, their jewelry does not prevent them from entering Paradise. A hadîth-i sharîf purports:
(I saw that women were few in number in Paradise. I asked for the reason. They said: “Gold and jewelry kept them busy.”) [I. Ahmad]
She should be cheerful towards her husband, show her love and should not hurt him with her tongue. It is declared in a hadîth-i sharîf:
(On Doomsday, Allahu ta’âlâ makes the tongue of a woman who tortures her husband with her tongue 70 arshins long [an arshin is half a meter] and wraps it around her neck. In addition, He puts a woman who gives bad looks to her husband in such a situation that her head is cut off and her body is cut into pieces.) [Shir’a]
She should not be ungrateful to her husband by saying (You didn’t give me anything!) Two hadîth-i sharîfs purport:
(If they were not ungrateful to their husbands, those who performed namâz [ritual prayer] would immediately enter Paradise.) [Shir’a]
(I saw that women constituted the majority of the dwellers of Hell. The reason is that they curse frequently and are ungrateful to their husbands.) [Bukhârî]
If she did a favor for her husband, she should not taunt him with that. She should not hurt her husband for such things as food and dressing and should not demand from him what he cannot afford! She should keep her husband’s glory, try to attain his consent and try to please him in every deed! It is purported in a hadîth-i sharîf:
(The rights of a man on his wife are just like my rights on you. Therefore, she who does not observe the rights of her husband will have failed to observe the rights of Allahu ta’âlâ.) [Shir’a]
A woman should not hurt her husband.
(One day, Hadrat Fâtima came crying before her father. Rasûlullah [the Messenger of Allah] declared:
- O Fâtima, why are you crying?
- Alî got angry with me because of a word of mine which I said unintentionally. I apologized to him but I am crying since I hurt him.
- O my daughter, don’t you know, the consent of Allahu ta’âlâ is conditioned on the consent of husband. How lucky for a woman who always seeks the consent of her husband and with whom her husband is contented. The most superior act of worship for a woman is to obey her husband. When a man is contented with his wife, that woman earns the right to enter Paradise from any door she wants. A woman who hurts her husband will be under the curse of Allahu ta’âlâ until she makes him contented.) [R. Nâsihîn]
Observing the rights of her husband causes a woman to earn thawâbs [blessings] as if she made jihâd [holy war]. It is declared in hadîth-i sharîfs:
(Observing the rights of husband is just like making jihâd in the way of Allah.) [Tabarânî]
(A woman cannot perform supererogatory fast without her husband’s permission. If she does so, she will have remained hungry and thirsty; she cannot earn any thawâb. She cannot get out from home without her husband’s permission. If she does so, the angels in the sky curse her until she comes back home.) [Tabarânî]
(If a man calls his wife for his need, let her answer his need immediately, even if she is around a tandoor!) [Tirmudhî]
(If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses to come, the angels will curse her till morning.) [Bukhârî]
(Without her husband’s permission, a woman cannot spend her own property, either.) [Tabarânî]
(If a woman gets out from home without permission, everything on which the sun and the moon rise curses her until her husband is contented.) [Daylamî]
(A woman cannot let anyone [including her mother, father and siblings] in the house and cannot perform supererogatory prayers without her husband’s permission.) [Tabarânî]
(Prevent your wives from ornamenting themselves! The women of Banî Isrâîl [sons of Israel] were cursed because they ornamented themselves and walked to the masjid [the place where they worshipped] arrogantly.) [Ibn-i Mâja]
(Namâzes [ritual prayers] and any good deeds of a woman will be unacceptable until her husband is contented.) [Tabarânî]
The spouses should get on well with each other and try to attain each other’s consent.
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